UPDATE: Milk & Honey flooded out. Then moved to Flatiron. Then got rent-hiked into non-existance. As of now, they are CLOSED.
134 Eldridge Street
New York, NY 10002
(???) ???-????

Milk & Honey is one of a number of hidden bars that have started becoming popular in the Big Apple. Like Please Don't Tell, Milk & Honey evokes the prohibition-era speakeasy vibe. Here, rather than being hidden behind a secret door, it's hidden in plain sight on a block that most normal people would look at and avoid walking down for fear of not coming out on the other side.

The game of Milk & Honey is getting in. The phone number is unlisted and periodically changes. So you need to be in the know or know someone who is. Once you get that number, you send them a text message requesting a table for your party. If there's space, they put you on the list. Then you wait and they'll text message you back if and when there's an opening. You've got 15 minutes or they'll give the table away.

Milk & Honey asks that you only tell the number to people you'd trust in your home without you there. There are precious few of them floating around. Even Bro barely makes the cut. Celebrities like the place because tables are not allowed to communicate with each other. Normal schlubs like the place because they feel like celebrities. Allegedly, no one is given special treatment, no matter who they are.

Dogz and D didn't want to wait around until who-knows-when for high-priced cocktails, leaving Bro and I to go it alone. Their loss, believe me.

Milk & Honey is microscopically small. It's half the size of Please Don't Tell. There are six booths and four seats at the bar. That's it. This means that Bro and I didn't get a table, despite the early reservations, until after midnight. Once inside, it's almost pitch black. Even if you were allowed to talk to the other tables, you couldn't see them to do so. The waitress walks down the single aisle holding a candle to light her way like she were walking through a medieval castle corridor.

Milk & Honey focuses exclusively on cocktails. There's no menu. No beer. Ask for something that you're in the mood for and if they have the ingredients, they'll mix something up for you. They ran out of berries when I was there, but there's a noticeable emphasis on citrus and fruit drinks. Nothing we had tasted anything short of good and going into what we ordered drink by drink would be pointless as there's no menu. Still, here they are, in a nutshell:

I asked if they had any coffee/espresso based drinks and after being given a how-odd-a-request look, they suggested a Dominicana, one of their house specialties. It was very good, very creamy, very coffee-ish, very recommended by me. I also ordered a Sloe Gin Fizz. Not bad, but I make a better one at home. Finally, I asked for a mojito with a splash of cranberry, but was denied the cranberry. Instead they suggested the Jack Rose, a minty pomegranate concoction very similar to what I had initially been itching for. Bro also ordered a few cocktails, but honestly I can't remember what they were. All of 'em were fruity and tasty and that's all that really matters.

Drinks are $15 a pop, plus tip.

While I realize that I might come off like an asshole, please note that I'm blurring M&H's number and refraining from divulging it on the address intentionally. So please don't ask. I am doing this for two reasons: (1) they asked me to, and (2) the more people that have the number, the harder it is for me to get a seat. Selfish, I know. I apologize to you all. But, maybe if we become friends I'll invite you to come with me...

UPDATE 9/23/08:
Well, Milk & Honey's number (the one I blurred up there) is gone. Toodles. Ta ta. Sweet Fanny Adams. And I do not have the new one. AND, word is, it'll go private and be "members only". So now everyone who's been emailing me can stop. There's nothing to get. And speaking of which... Sasha, old bean. Do you think that maybe I could get an invite? I mean, I didn't go publishing the shit out of your number like some places... (cough!-New York Magazine-cough!). Plus, even I denied every single request for for it. So whaddaya say?

UPDATE 4/7/09:
So Milk & Honey has gone (at least temporarily) public. You can email them or send a text. The allure of the unattainable is gone. But so is the pretension. 718-308-6881 is the number for now. I'm willing to bet that when the economy picks up, this number will vanish. Interestingly, on the website, it says that they'll hold the table for 15 minutes. If you're late, you'll lose the table. Standard policy. But then it says that "no shows" will be charged $50. How, exactly is this cash-only establishment going to charge anyone who isn't there anything? An annoying scare tactic, to say the least.

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