Ante Up, Double Down


Ante Up, Double Down

I succumbed. I bought, I consumed, the KFC Double Down Sandwich, the sandwich that replaces bread with fried chicken. How was it, you ask? It was, to use the guilt/taste ratio scale, the scale used most often by depressed single thirty-somethings on a Haagen Dazs binge (the more guilt you feel after - or during - eating the item, the better it is), extremely guilt inducing. Cheese, bacon, fried chicken, more cheese and more fried chicken... lots of guilt = lots of yum.

Think of the Double Down as a chicken cordon blue you can walk around with. There are no vegetables of any kind, not even a pickle, unless mustard counts (and it doesn't). I'm shocked (SHOCKED) that no one made this during the Atkins craze five years ago. They'd have made a billion dollars off of people thinking that this meal could conform to any sort of "diet". To be sure, the Double Down manages to have no redeeming social value whatsoever beyond purely prurient, unadulterated pleasure one gets from eating it.

Enjoy it while you can (in moderation), because I have a feeling that this is a fadwich and won't be around in a few months. I just don't think it has the staying power of a more traditional sandwich. Plus, your fingers get all greasy (the wax paper wrapper is a nice attempt, but almost useless).

Can I tell you guys something? I was actually a little disappointed. See, in the beginning, I was under the impression that KFC started with a hamburger, then replaced the bun with chicken (PS- I trademark this idea as of right now). Before I go on, can you imagine that? Imagine that guilt/flavor ratio! Sorry though, that's not the case.

Until now!!!
Scroll down, my pretties...

There you have it! My greatest, most warped creation! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAAAA-HAAHAA!!! At its heart, a simple McDonald's Quarter Pounder. But, clothed in the Double Down like a chainmail robed knight, it becomes an unstoppable force of caloric power! Beef, partnered with bacon, lathered in two kinds of cheese, surrounded by chicken and flavored with onion, pickle, some tangy sauce and ketchup...

Oh, yes. It tastes good. It tastes very good. You have no idea how good.

And I'm trademarking this concept right now.

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